Playing the Good Cop, Bad Cop Game

As a Mom I went through a lot of phase with my growing daughter at certain times. When she was a baby, it was less complicated since all she ever did were eat, sleep, bathe, cry, play, repeat.. As a toddler she was like my shadow just following me wherever I go, copying and mimicking me, she was really like a mini version of me. She would say with pride that she looks like me, although she actually takes after her daddy.

She had her Daddy hooked up on her since birth. He is crazy about her. He would spoil her with everything he can afford. All through it all, getting into everything, she desired Daddy more cause she knew he shielded her from my discipline. He was after all very vocal about our role assignments- him being the good cop, while I am the bad cop.

Although Hunter is very expressive about favoring me over her dad most of the time, despite me being the disciplinarian, still there are times I feel she loved both of us and at times hated both of us equally (smile). She just loves teasing her daddy telling him she loves mommy more. In truth I sometimes kind of feel that she loves her Daddy more mainly because I had rules and her Dad would sometimes soften the rules. She always had him wrapped around her little finger since the day she was born.

I know for a fact that a girl’s dad is her protector, that’s why it is perfectly fine with me to see them get closer the way they do. There’s no space for jealousy. Good cop, bad cop, we both have the same intensity of feeling just mirrored differently.

Growing up, she is becoming her own person, with the attitudes, the mood swings. And I would undeniably lose my cool on her at times. This is the part that leaves me feeling so guilty in spite of the fact that I am just doing my job. We had to have lots of talks because she had to know learning to do things by herself even when she makes mistakes were normal; being good and being bad are two completely different things and she has to know when to draw the line. Life is not always easy but we’d get thru it together.

I know the table will slightly turn again when she gets to be a teen, probably will level out again, who knows?

I’m pretty aware that kids develop bonds more strongly with either the mom or the dad, depending on who made more connection in the growing up years. So our 100% presence is crucial and there is no competition between us. Our bottom line is to return the affection more readily at all cost.

For now, I allow her to enjoy this phase in her life, of being a daddy’s girl, thank God He gave her a loving daddy. I thank Daddy Carmelo for expressing that love because it builds her daughter’s confidence.

Now I feel like making a TWIRL, not only because my Hunter is so far growing up to be the person she ought to be; but also because I made a great choice in a daddy for my baby girl. Hoping things will stay this way. It’s a long way to go for us and we’ve only just begun.

6 Responses

  1. Good cop/bad cop isn’t always easy. I find my husband and I tend to be split on this. There are times that I’m the bad cop, and times that he is, based on the situation.

  2. I’m in the same situation as you. I think most moms lean more towards being the bad cop. It is not easy policing but kids learn by following rules.

  3. Same here. My husband would often say how much he softened up over the years because we have two girls. At times, I have to impose the rules since he can’t say no to them.

  4. Im the bad cop here as well. mainly because im the one he is with the whole day. even when his dad is here, he is asleep naman most of the time. but im happy kahit na bad cop ako, ako at ako pa din ang hinahanap. and im sure like what you said our kids loves us all the same

  5. What you’re feeling is just normal. I think most mom’s struggle with this too. In our family though, I think there is really no good cop or bad cop. Hubby and I have just established certain rules when it comes to discipline and we both adhere to them.

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